Vehicular Hahnicide
by chisles
Summary: Inspired by this post. Erica Hahn travels the country to ram lesbian's cars. 3x02


OH GOD. I SAW THIS ( post/25034968828/established-headcanon ) and oh em gee. this is what it inspired. this is for sure a one-shot. maybe. i cannot start something new. ugh. review? maybe?alright. ill stop.

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She smiled as she drove up to the guard hut. "Love and light." She smiled.

The man eyed her warily. "Love and light. Name?"

He held the chart at a slope where she could easily see a few names. "Jerrica Clark."

He checked the list and smiled. "Congratulations on ascending."

"Namaste. Love and light."

"Love and light." The blonde smiled to herself as she drove on, right behind the unmarked car. She turned off before the car, hoping to intercept them again at one point. Long enough to make them think they had a chance. She found an amazing waiting place. She could tell when they were coming, and she'd be able to speed up and… well, that part would come.

Quietly, she got out of the rental truck and put on the protective gear she had stored in the back. She hopes her car wouldn't get too messed up. She still had to get out before she was caught.

Trucks were her favorite.

She remembered when Callie and that idiot wife of hers had rammed right into the back of that one _really _strong truck. Well, they rammed into it only _after_ she herself had stomped onto the brakes. Stupid couple had been so caught up with each other they couldn't even keep their eyes on the road.

She now sat in the silver truck waiting for her next victims.

xxxxxxxxxx

Maura and Jane sat in the car driving through the dense brush.

"Rachael definitely swam in that lake... And I-I know why it's so polluted, I saw evidence of fracking equipment," Maura said, sounding extremely worried.

Jane spoke with condescend in her tone. "What is fracking?" She glanced over at her friend.

Maura stared at her. "It-It's a controversial process used to drill for natural gas. They pump hundreds of chemicals thousands of feet underground. It pollutes ground water—"

"You've got to be kidding me! _That's _why we pulled a Thelma and Louise?"

"Well, Jane! It's illegal here." They both paused for a second, considering the full effect of those words. Jane continued to drive with one hand on the wheel.

"Well Rachael was a geologist… Maybe Sensei Matta didn't bring her here to sleep with her; maybe he brought her here to help."

Maura shook her head. "She wouldn't have helped. Her interest was in the environment."

"Exactly," Jane said, looking at her friend. "So maybe she saw what you saw; she uncovered the fracking. And that's what—." Jane looked to her left at the last second as the solver truck rammed into the driver's side of Frost's car. She heard Maura scream, but she was too stunned herself to do anything about it. Their car spun around and she thought she heard the truck pull away.

Erica Hahn almost left the scene as quickly as she could. The truck could still drive, and all she needed was to get out here and fast. She got out of the truck and walked to where the other car was. She smiled as she heard the groaning of the two lovers.

"You can't just be in love without being together. You can't half-ass something. Get your shit together. Next time I won't have to commit another _Vehicular Hahnicide._"

Jane looked up to where the voice came from but saw no one. She heard the crunch of gravel as the truck spun away.

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In Seattle, Washington, Arizona Robbins sat in the Attending' lounge and was going through her purse. Suddenly, her phone twanged with her familiar tone that meant she had a new text message.

_Check the news._

Arizona frowned. She didn't recognize the number. She went over to the TV in the room and turned it to the news.

"**BREAKING NEWS. A SHOCKING STORY IN BOSTON, MASSACHUSETTS. Boston Homicide Police Detective and frenemy Chief Medical Examiner, also daughter of Irish mob boss Paddy Doyle, have been the subject to a T-bone crash. Detective Jane Rizzoli had to perform and emergency Fasciotomy in the field to save Dr. Isles' leg. The two are okay, now and are believed to be friends again."**

Arizona had tuned out and her face got quite pale. She needed Callie. She needed Callie _now. _

"**WAIT! I'm getting some insider information here… Someone called our station and said to call this a 'Vehicular Hahnicide.' Whatever that means. Please stay tuned for more information about our injured ladies."**

Arizona stiffened. She knew what that meant. She knew exactly what that meant.

She found herself waiting outside of Callie's surgery. She was sitting there for an hour, basically thanking god that Maura and Jane were okay. She intercepted her wife in the scrub room after everyone had left. Callie always scrubbed the hardest.

"Callie…"

She knew something was up. Arizona never called her Callie if something wasn't up. "What? What is it?"

"Maura and Jane…"

"Are they still fighting? I told them to get their shit together." She saw the look on Arizona's face and dried her hands quickly. She went up her and wrapped her arms around the blonde. "Is there more?"

"They got in a car accident."

Callie stiffened. This couldn't be happening. Not again. "Are they alright?"

"The news said that they were okay. Jane did a fasciotomy."

"Damn… And Maura still has her leg?"

Arizona laughed. "I guess so."

Callie sighed. "After that one girl in Ohio… Quinn? And now Jane and Maura? What are we going to do?"

Arizona was silent. They stood in each other's arms for a second. "At least now maybe they'll get together."

"Yeah, maybe."

One thing was for sure. Erica Hahn had struck again.

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Don't kill me. Thanks for reading.


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